Friday, February 3, 2012

no one believes in marriage anymore!

I hate the people who are so adamantly against same sex marriage and yet they commit adultery or have multiple divorces behind them. What the hell is that about?
What is marriage?
Is a wedding just one giant party now?
Believe me, the last thing I want to do is make myself sound self-righteous. But when my husband and I were dating, we chose not to have sex with each other until our wedding night. It was biblical and we knew that it would be the smartest thing for our relationship.
I had been in two relationships before my husband in which we had sex. On my wedding night, I was not a virgin, but my husband was. That was rough. It was one of the first things I told him when we started dating because I wanted to be honest from the beginning. So he knew that he would have to forgive me for not waiting for him before he was able to accept me as his wife. This was something that we struggled with for a little while but we soon realized that every hard moment was worth the fight in the end.
I had to wait with my husband. I had to prove to him that he was worth the wait, even though I had already failed in that area. Now, we did fall a few more times than I would like to admit, but we still never had sex until our wedding night. That was rough but so worth the pain.
Because of that and the hell we went through as a young couple deciding to get married, our wedding was nothing like a "party". It was a celebration of a union under God. Have you ever been to a wedding like that and then a wedding where the couple had lived together for several years before they got married? Totally different. Still a blast, but one is a party and the other is a celebration.
Thank the Lord for forgiveness! I know a few couples who did not wait but in the end, still had a celebration. It was a tougher road than what I had to endure in that aspect for sure. So in no way am I trying to send out judgement or condemnation towards anyone. It is just fact.
I have had several people literally make fun of me for not having sex with my husband until my wedding night. "Gotta try it before you commit." "What if he sucks at it and you're stuck??" Wow. This astonished me.
There was one girl in specific who challenged me with this and admitted that she and her brand new husband had been living together in a house that they bought together for 10 years before their wedding!! Her wedding was a party. A very over-done, expensive, unnecessary party.
What about the vows, people? I do not understand how people can VOW, much more than just a promise, to love each other through everything and still end in divorce.
I vowed to love my husband and be with him through everything. It really does cover it, right? Sickness and in health, richness and in poor. That's everything right there.
If my husband was addicted to porn, that would be a sickness that I would endure through with him till the end of his addiction. If we both lost our jobs tomorrow, that would be a tough season filled with stress induced fights and anger and I will still be with him every step of the way. If we won the lottery tomorrow, I wouldn't take my half and split, either.
Not everyone agrees with this one but I'm willing to piss people off:
If my husband had an affair tomorrow, I would not be quick to divorce him.
I cannot imagine the heart ache it would cause nor what my jerk reactions will be. I can assume that I will want to be apart for a little while so that I may heal from the damage done. But I will not divorce my husband until the Lord released me to do so.
True story:
A man did not divorce his wife after she had an affair on him 3 times with another woman. Than man was my father. God eventually released him, as she had began an addiction to drugs and began putting us children at risk. But my father did not divorce my mother after he had literally walked in on her having an affair 3 times - with another woman! 3 different women.
It can be done.
Marriage is sacred and people too soon forget.
Rant over.
Please comment on today's post. I would love to talk more on this topic if you disagree.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

30 days??

did you make it??
we did not.
This is hard ladies!! I knew it was going to be hard but jeez!
So here's the dealio:
my husband and I have been going through I guess you can call a "rough patch". Nothing too detrimental to our marriage or anything like that, but enough for us to come to the point where we both agree that we need counseling. Ouch.
There is nothing wrong with counseling! Don't get me wrong. We're huuuge fans of it! It was just a hard realization, or course.
With the way our finances have been and the fact that both of our hours were cut at our jobs in the same month that we bought a house, yea, things have been testy.
What can you do?
Have sex.
I know neither of you want to. I KNOW
So you wanna know what we did?
We acted like we had just met for a night. It was fun! True story : I was a bridesmaid for a friend this past weekend and he was a groomsman. So we decided to use this special occasion for some fun. We acted like we both met at the wedding. We flirted all night long and made dirty suggestions at each other in public. Oh my gosh this was so much fun! By the end of the wedding, he asked me if I would like to come over to his house for some wine and a movie. We even incorporated the fact that I have a kid! He kept telling me how cute she was and how she looks just like me. Totally just trying to get in my pants...
he did.
We had amazing sex twice that night! TWICE! Do you know how long it's been since we have done that? Too long.
So ladies, this week: have an affair. With your husband!
Let him whisk you away and act like a total sleeze if you want to. It's so much fun and made the fireworks come back in an instant. Go out on a date, cheap or whatever. And act like it's your first. This is one of the best things I can tell you to do with your sex life.
No go and do it. Start with some flirty texts about how you don't have anything to do tonight and you're bored. Be creative.
I am going to continue this blog with challenges and many fun adventures. Especially since my husband and I did not have sex for 30 days in a row, I am still going to keep trying this and adding more days so that we do.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

so much more

there is so much more here than just having sex with your spouse. I'm sure you've already figured that out by now.
As we journey through this as a married couple, we are constantly being tested. We have been on edge from the lack of sleep and everything else that has been going on lately. You know... life. Life happens. Constantly.
Bills are late in getting paid, babies get sick or just plain cranky for no reason, family starts drama, friends start drama, people get married, people die... there are millions of reasons to have your marriage and your relationship on the back burner at night.
My husband and I are going through a major transition right now. Without giving too many details, we're moving into a house and simultaneously both of our hours get cut from work because our employers can't afford either of us at full time. This came out of nowhere and we are stuck. We still haven't even unpacked more that 10 boxes and it's staring us in the face that we cannot afford this new house even though we had gone over the budget over and over again to make sure that we could and there was clear direction, we felt, that led us to getting this house. It went over so smoothly and we had no one to thank but God. As soon as we feel like we're on the right path, we get hit by a semi truck.
this is life.
Life is constantly getting in the way. We won't want to have sex with each other right now. He's feeling depressed and angry, and I'm trying to keep what little faith I have so it's hard to even talk to him about how he is feeling. We're not on the same page. I don't want to get down on his level but I cannot get him on mine, so we're just not together on this.
So I'm making excuses on why we can't have sex right now. We're stressed. Money is tight. We're in the middle of a move. Baby didn't take a nap today and is driving me nuts. But guess what... that is life.
Life is the excuse to not have sex. 
As I look around me and start to see the women my age who were married when I was begin to go through a divorce. They say, I really thought we were the exception and that we were going to be married for life. No one gets married thinking they're going to get a divorce.
But life happens.
Let life be a good thing! I am so determined to do this now more than ever. With all of this junk piling up before us, it would be so easy to just drop it all and "give up"
I made a vow. Through sickness and in health, till death do us part.
End of story.
This crisis right now is a sickness and I vowed to be right there with him through this. If marriage was easy, there wouldn't be anything to promise at that alter.
This is life. This is how we are going to live in it. Will you be together with your spouse, or forget your vows?

Thursday, January 19, 2012


My husband mentioned to me the other night his frustrations with this challenge.
The whole point of doing this challenge was so that we wouldn't treat sex like a chore. We would be able to enjoy it more and have more time for ourselves just to be together intimately.
He pointed out to me that this challenge has officially proven that it is a chore. There were so many nights where we were exhausted but HAD to have sex because of this challenge. There were other nights where we had to speed home so that we had time before midnight. Some nights were fun to try and beat the clock but others were frustrating and stressful. Did I mention we're in the middle of moving?? Yea... add the stress and strain of that, too! My husband was starting to see that this is getting way harder. I guess I was trying to act like it was all fine and dandy so that I didn't have to admit that something wasn't working out. How many of you are doing that very thing in your marriage? 
Marriage is rough guys, like I said, I would be stupid to say that it isn't! Sometimes I forget. My husband and I are an exceptional couple. I hate to sound arrogant but it's true. We went through hell to be together, several years of hell. Because of that, today we are incredibly strong and confident in our marriage. We have always refused to let the little stuff shake us and for that, I feel like I have taken advantage of it. We have such a strong foundation that I sometimes forget that it is possible for us to break simply because we're human. No matter the strength level you think you have in your marriage, there is still work to be done. On a daily basis!
What are you feeding your marriage? 
Here is a small challenge for the day:
before you after sex, doesn't matter... at some point today, pray with your husband. I don't care if it's something you do on a regular basis or not. Hold hands and pray. He might not even pray or say anything but let the Lord use you today. Pray for your marriage, your home, your kids, your finances... anything. Just lift it up to God and see what He does with it. This can even be more intimate that the sex you have or had today.

Sexual Healing

I thought this was encouraging! The difference between premarital sex and sex after marriage.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

turns out...

you need internet to post blogs.
We just moved and are still working on getting the internet set up. I've been able to post on facebook from my phone and such but for some reason my blogger app hasn't been working and I haven't been able to post anything!!! :(
And... I shouldn't post while I'm at work... duh.
So here I am at a family member's house who understands! :)
Keep going ladies!! Everyday seems to be getting easier for the most part. Even with the move, I still manage to be in the mood at night when we put baby to bed.
However, I unfortunately started my period!! Even though I am breast feeding. I know, I totally feel jipped.
So there were three nights there that it was just play - like what I explained in the rules in the first post. (maybe the second?)
Feel encouraged!
There is a pastor in Grapevine, Texas... in case you haven't heard... who is challenging his congregation to have sex for seven days in a row! Apparently this is his second time to do this and they are just giddy about it. It's cute. Look up the interview. I'm sure it will be super easy to find. His name is Ed Young and his church is called Fellowship in Grapevine, Texas.
Anyways, I thought it was way cooler that we're above the seven days... we're doing a whole month! Give yourselves a pat on the back and then go have sex.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Day 10 - 11

I have an incredibly stressful job. It's so hard coming home on days that my husband has a rough day. We both just want to vent and be comforted but we butt heads every time. We can't both have a bad day at the same time. I'm sure we're not alone in this. He also has been feeling pretty sick for a couple of days now - praying it's not the flu! So things have been rough so far this week. I am definitely ready for it to be over.
I have started to noticed that my body is getting used to sex every night! I usually start to get in the mood without trying too hard! :) How are you doing? I love hearing from my readers!
Keep spreading the news and send me more followers my way!
For tomorrow's challenge:
Do your hair. That's right, do what he loves even if it takes an hour... or two. Wake up early and just do it. Or if you're a stay at home mom (super jealous of you!!) then get it done before he comes home. See how long he can resist running his fingers through your hair!