Friday, February 3, 2012

no one believes in marriage anymore!

I hate the people who are so adamantly against same sex marriage and yet they commit adultery or have multiple divorces behind them. What the hell is that about?
What is marriage?
Is a wedding just one giant party now?
Believe me, the last thing I want to do is make myself sound self-righteous. But when my husband and I were dating, we chose not to have sex with each other until our wedding night. It was biblical and we knew that it would be the smartest thing for our relationship.
I had been in two relationships before my husband in which we had sex. On my wedding night, I was not a virgin, but my husband was. That was rough. It was one of the first things I told him when we started dating because I wanted to be honest from the beginning. So he knew that he would have to forgive me for not waiting for him before he was able to accept me as his wife. This was something that we struggled with for a little while but we soon realized that every hard moment was worth the fight in the end.
I had to wait with my husband. I had to prove to him that he was worth the wait, even though I had already failed in that area. Now, we did fall a few more times than I would like to admit, but we still never had sex until our wedding night. That was rough but so worth the pain.
Because of that and the hell we went through as a young couple deciding to get married, our wedding was nothing like a "party". It was a celebration of a union under God. Have you ever been to a wedding like that and then a wedding where the couple had lived together for several years before they got married? Totally different. Still a blast, but one is a party and the other is a celebration.
Thank the Lord for forgiveness! I know a few couples who did not wait but in the end, still had a celebration. It was a tougher road than what I had to endure in that aspect for sure. So in no way am I trying to send out judgement or condemnation towards anyone. It is just fact.
I have had several people literally make fun of me for not having sex with my husband until my wedding night. "Gotta try it before you commit." "What if he sucks at it and you're stuck??" Wow. This astonished me.
There was one girl in specific who challenged me with this and admitted that she and her brand new husband had been living together in a house that they bought together for 10 years before their wedding!! Her wedding was a party. A very over-done, expensive, unnecessary party.
What about the vows, people? I do not understand how people can VOW, much more than just a promise, to love each other through everything and still end in divorce.
I vowed to love my husband and be with him through everything. It really does cover it, right? Sickness and in health, richness and in poor. That's everything right there.
If my husband was addicted to porn, that would be a sickness that I would endure through with him till the end of his addiction. If we both lost our jobs tomorrow, that would be a tough season filled with stress induced fights and anger and I will still be with him every step of the way. If we won the lottery tomorrow, I wouldn't take my half and split, either.
Not everyone agrees with this one but I'm willing to piss people off:
If my husband had an affair tomorrow, I would not be quick to divorce him.
I cannot imagine the heart ache it would cause nor what my jerk reactions will be. I can assume that I will want to be apart for a little while so that I may heal from the damage done. But I will not divorce my husband until the Lord released me to do so.
True story:
A man did not divorce his wife after she had an affair on him 3 times with another woman. Than man was my father. God eventually released him, as she had began an addiction to drugs and began putting us children at risk. But my father did not divorce my mother after he had literally walked in on her having an affair 3 times - with another woman! 3 different women.
It can be done.
Marriage is sacred and people too soon forget.
Rant over.
Please comment on today's post. I would love to talk more on this topic if you disagree.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

30 days??

did you make it??
we did not.
This is hard ladies!! I knew it was going to be hard but jeez!
So here's the dealio:
my husband and I have been going through I guess you can call a "rough patch". Nothing too detrimental to our marriage or anything like that, but enough for us to come to the point where we both agree that we need counseling. Ouch.
There is nothing wrong with counseling! Don't get me wrong. We're huuuge fans of it! It was just a hard realization, or course.
With the way our finances have been and the fact that both of our hours were cut at our jobs in the same month that we bought a house, yea, things have been testy.
What can you do?
Have sex.
I know neither of you want to. I KNOW
So you wanna know what we did?
We acted like we had just met for a night. It was fun! True story : I was a bridesmaid for a friend this past weekend and he was a groomsman. So we decided to use this special occasion for some fun. We acted like we both met at the wedding. We flirted all night long and made dirty suggestions at each other in public. Oh my gosh this was so much fun! By the end of the wedding, he asked me if I would like to come over to his house for some wine and a movie. We even incorporated the fact that I have a kid! He kept telling me how cute she was and how she looks just like me. Totally just trying to get in my pants...
he did.
We had amazing sex twice that night! TWICE! Do you know how long it's been since we have done that? Too long.
So ladies, this week: have an affair. With your husband!
Let him whisk you away and act like a total sleeze if you want to. It's so much fun and made the fireworks come back in an instant. Go out on a date, cheap or whatever. And act like it's your first. This is one of the best things I can tell you to do with your sex life.
No go and do it. Start with some flirty texts about how you don't have anything to do tonight and you're bored. Be creative.
I am going to continue this blog with challenges and many fun adventures. Especially since my husband and I did not have sex for 30 days in a row, I am still going to keep trying this and adding more days so that we do.