Saturday, January 21, 2012

so much more

there is so much more here than just having sex with your spouse. I'm sure you've already figured that out by now.
As we journey through this as a married couple, we are constantly being tested. We have been on edge from the lack of sleep and everything else that has been going on lately. You know... life. Life happens. Constantly.
Bills are late in getting paid, babies get sick or just plain cranky for no reason, family starts drama, friends start drama, people get married, people die... there are millions of reasons to have your marriage and your relationship on the back burner at night.
My husband and I are going through a major transition right now. Without giving too many details, we're moving into a house and simultaneously both of our hours get cut from work because our employers can't afford either of us at full time. This came out of nowhere and we are stuck. We still haven't even unpacked more that 10 boxes and it's staring us in the face that we cannot afford this new house even though we had gone over the budget over and over again to make sure that we could and there was clear direction, we felt, that led us to getting this house. It went over so smoothly and we had no one to thank but God. As soon as we feel like we're on the right path, we get hit by a semi truck.
this is life.
Life is constantly getting in the way. We won't want to have sex with each other right now. He's feeling depressed and angry, and I'm trying to keep what little faith I have so it's hard to even talk to him about how he is feeling. We're not on the same page. I don't want to get down on his level but I cannot get him on mine, so we're just not together on this.
So I'm making excuses on why we can't have sex right now. We're stressed. Money is tight. We're in the middle of a move. Baby didn't take a nap today and is driving me nuts. But guess what... that is life.
Life is the excuse to not have sex. 
As I look around me and start to see the women my age who were married when I was begin to go through a divorce. They say, I really thought we were the exception and that we were going to be married for life. No one gets married thinking they're going to get a divorce.
But life happens.
Let life be a good thing! I am so determined to do this now more than ever. With all of this junk piling up before us, it would be so easy to just drop it all and "give up"
I made a vow. Through sickness and in health, till death do us part.
End of story.
This crisis right now is a sickness and I vowed to be right there with him through this. If marriage was easy, there wouldn't be anything to promise at that alter.
This is life. This is how we are going to live in it. Will you be together with your spouse, or forget your vows?

Thursday, January 19, 2012


My husband mentioned to me the other night his frustrations with this challenge.
The whole point of doing this challenge was so that we wouldn't treat sex like a chore. We would be able to enjoy it more and have more time for ourselves just to be together intimately.
He pointed out to me that this challenge has officially proven that it is a chore. There were so many nights where we were exhausted but HAD to have sex because of this challenge. There were other nights where we had to speed home so that we had time before midnight. Some nights were fun to try and beat the clock but others were frustrating and stressful. Did I mention we're in the middle of moving?? Yea... add the stress and strain of that, too! My husband was starting to see that this is getting way harder. I guess I was trying to act like it was all fine and dandy so that I didn't have to admit that something wasn't working out. How many of you are doing that very thing in your marriage? 
Marriage is rough guys, like I said, I would be stupid to say that it isn't! Sometimes I forget. My husband and I are an exceptional couple. I hate to sound arrogant but it's true. We went through hell to be together, several years of hell. Because of that, today we are incredibly strong and confident in our marriage. We have always refused to let the little stuff shake us and for that, I feel like I have taken advantage of it. We have such a strong foundation that I sometimes forget that it is possible for us to break simply because we're human. No matter the strength level you think you have in your marriage, there is still work to be done. On a daily basis!
What are you feeding your marriage? 
Here is a small challenge for the day:
before you after sex, doesn't matter... at some point today, pray with your husband. I don't care if it's something you do on a regular basis or not. Hold hands and pray. He might not even pray or say anything but let the Lord use you today. Pray for your marriage, your home, your kids, your finances... anything. Just lift it up to God and see what He does with it. This can even be more intimate that the sex you have or had today.

Sexual Healing

I thought this was encouraging! The difference between premarital sex and sex after marriage.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

turns out...

you need internet to post blogs.
We just moved and are still working on getting the internet set up. I've been able to post on facebook from my phone and such but for some reason my blogger app hasn't been working and I haven't been able to post anything!!! :(
And... I shouldn't post while I'm at work... duh.
So here I am at a family member's house who understands! :)
Keep going ladies!! Everyday seems to be getting easier for the most part. Even with the move, I still manage to be in the mood at night when we put baby to bed.
However, I unfortunately started my period!! Even though I am breast feeding. I know, I totally feel jipped.
So there were three nights there that it was just play - like what I explained in the rules in the first post. (maybe the second?)
Feel encouraged!
There is a pastor in Grapevine, Texas... in case you haven't heard... who is challenging his congregation to have sex for seven days in a row! Apparently this is his second time to do this and they are just giddy about it. It's cute. Look up the interview. I'm sure it will be super easy to find. His name is Ed Young and his church is called Fellowship in Grapevine, Texas.
Anyways, I thought it was way cooler that we're above the seven days... we're doing a whole month! Give yourselves a pat on the back and then go have sex.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Day 10 - 11

I have an incredibly stressful job. It's so hard coming home on days that my husband has a rough day. We both just want to vent and be comforted but we butt heads every time. We can't both have a bad day at the same time. I'm sure we're not alone in this. He also has been feeling pretty sick for a couple of days now - praying it's not the flu! So things have been rough so far this week. I am definitely ready for it to be over.
I have started to noticed that my body is getting used to sex every night! I usually start to get in the mood without trying too hard! :) How are you doing? I love hearing from my readers!
Keep spreading the news and send me more followers my way!
For tomorrow's challenge:
Do your hair. That's right, do what he loves even if it takes an hour... or two. Wake up early and just do it. Or if you're a stay at home mom (super jealous of you!!) then get it done before he comes home. See how long he can resist running his fingers through your hair!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Day 7, 8, and 9 :/

Busy weekend! Even though I did not post for two days, my husband and I still found the time to have sex both nights. Sorry I wasn't able to get on here more - the bottom line is to have sex everyday no matter what. Hopefully you weren't waiting from a post from me to continue that.
As for this week, there is a lot of things going on in my personal life. Lots of changes. Mostly good but some incredibly stressful. I will try my hardest to post everyday but like I said, you don't need a post everyday from me reminding you to have sex.
This is another point I want to make:
Time. The other night it was so hard for us to have sex simply because we were so exhausted from our busy day, all we wanted to do was pass out. We never had a fight, we never thought it would be a bad thing to do... we just wanted more than anything to roll over and fall asleep. We are both working and we have a child, planning to have more in the future. There are going to be so many nights like this! But how many nights will that happen in a row? As I look into this week, I am trying to prepare myself for those nights when I just look at my husband and say... "Are you kidding me? I need sleep!" I pray that we make it through this wall! There will always be a million excuses not to have sex or even just spend some quality alone time with each other even if things are perfectly fine between you two. Going back to the statement that sex has become a chore.
If you find yourself getting caught in this "funk", say no to someone on a weeknight. You're doing too much. You and your husband need to pick a night SOON, that current week, where you both say no to someone and stay home. Or even better, find a baby sitter and go on a small date for just 2 hours. Don't go to a movie together... you can't talk in a movie!!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Day 6

Life is busy busy busy.
I am a working mom and my husband is a busy man. We have family over a lot and we spend time with friends weekly. My husband and I are very social people and still are even after we had baby.
So in conclusion - I am going to write the challenge for the next day rather than today.
I am learning as I go here...
So for tomorrow's challenge, wear something a little special to bed! Some lingerie, something small, something sweet :) I always feel super sexy whenever I wear something for my husband to bed and it definitely helps you get in the mood. If you don't have anything, then wear one of his button up shirts and panties... anything small or incredibly oversized helps!
I love all the readers! I've been getting lots of views and I hope to get even more followers! Spread the word - I had a friend post on pinterest and on facebook so pass it on! If you have any friends you think might benefit from this challenge please give them the link. I really feel like the Lord has given this to me and I intend to make it as huge as He'll let me!
Have fun!!

Day 5

It's late and I almost didn't have a post for today :(
My husband and I did not have sex for day 4 yesterday. Instead we got into an argument that lasted past 12:30AM. I was hoping to have it resolved in time but my selfishness got in the way and I postponed the discussion until the last second and we didn't make it. So we ended up falling asleep without having sex.
So I decided that I'm starting back from the beginning again. The point is to have sex for 30 days in a row, not just 30 days - that's easy.
As I was sitting in the dark after midnight last night, I was thinking of what I was going to say on today's blog. This was so frustrating for me. I felt like I failed. But then my husband made me realize that this is part of the challenge. There are going to be hard days. The whole point of doing this 30 day challenge is to push ourselves. Of course it's going to be hard and there are going to be days we wished we weren't doing it anymore. That day was yesterday for us.
Needless to say, even though it took us a while, we fought through it because we knew it would have been worse if we ignored it and went to bed angry. Today was still a little rough but we definitely had an appreciation for each other and we had sex before midnight! :)
So seeing as day 5 is over - there is no added small challenge but I have a good one for tomorrow.
Sorry for the late post. This is definitely a work in process...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Day 4

So far, I feel like this challenge has already made a difference in my drive. I have been wanting to have more sex and there were two days so far that we had sex twice! But I want to hear from you. What are some challenges you're facing with this? I know it will get harder the further along I go but so far I feel like it has been pretty easy. But I want to relate to everyone. How is it going?
Today's small challenge:
Wear make-up. If you're not a make-up woman then wear it just for him even if you have no plans to go out in public today. If you're already a make-up woman and wear it everyday, today do a little something special. Don't just do the everyday quick look. Take the time as if you're going out to a fancy date tonight. You don't have to do your hair if you don't have the time or patience. But make time to dress yourself up a little for when you see your husband. I bet he'll notice

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Day 3

We almost didn't make it last night! And I only wore his favorite panties for a few minutes before he took them off... but he enjoyed going through the drawer picking out a pair :)
we got into an argument yesterday. A pretty big one :( During the fight, I was thinking about the challenge and what I was going to post on here because I definitely did NOT want to have sex. But I was determined to get the fight over with so that I would want to have sex. In conclusion: We didn't have sex until after 11:30. We cut it too close! But since we were rushing to get the fight over with and rushing to beat the clock... hands down top 10 hottest sex so far!  It was so great! I could not be happier that we beat that argument and had sex anyway. So many nights we have gone to bed with an unsettled argument and we won't touch each other for several hours. But as good advice, we had always been told to never go to bed angry.
Now this challenge is a big one and not required especially if you have kids 2 and up. If you are able, sleep naked with each other every night if you already aren't. You won't sleep naked together if you're mad at each other, am I right? I remember getting into arguments and immediately putting something on. You don't want to be vulnerable at all when you're in a heated discussion. But if you make it a rule to sleep naked, you can't help but solve the problem before you take your clothes off for the night. Try it for the rest of the challenge and see the difference.
And as for today's small challenge:
send your husband text messages throughout the day that implies something a little dirty.
Tell him you can't wait for sex tonight and what you might wear if he's good. You know... take it from there. That will get you both in the mood and thinking about it all day will definitely help you look forward to it more.
Maybe even send him a suggestive picture if you're comfortable with that. I'm always nervous someone else might get the text but I still send one every once in a while anyway... I just make double, triple sure that it's going to my husband and no one else!!

Have fun sexting!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Day 2

Holidays are over and a lot of us are going back to work today. Boo.
So since we're only on day 2 and we have lots ahead of us - today's small challenge is an easy one:
Wear his favorite panties - even if they are incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe ask him which is his favorite that you own and if he asks why, just say, "No reason..." ;)
Or if you already know his fave, surprise him when you have sex tonight and he starts to take your clothes off.
It's always just a nice little extra when he discovers them.
Have fun tonight!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Day 1

We ended up leaving our little New Year's party around 3 AM so needless to say we were exhausted. We almost didn't have sex last night because we had to be at church early this morning (my husband works at our church full time). But when we got baby in her bed knocked out tired, he got the urge and an energy burst. I debated on saying no because we still had the whole day today to make up for it but I decided that was no way to get this challenge started! So we had amazing sex a 3:30 AM :) Totally worth it.
It makes me realize that no matter what state I'm in, by the time we're both laying next to each other breathing heavily and talking about how good that was, 99% of the time I knew that it was such a great decision and I do not regret it at all! 

So if you didn't have sex last night after the ball dropped... heehee ;).... then here is your small challenge for today:
Have some afternoon delight sex! How long has it been since you've had impromptu sex in the middle of the day? Today is a great day to do it. You're both tired from last night but hopefully regained some energy from sleeping in today. Or like us, we are going on just a couple of hours of sleep and are home from church, ready to take a nap with baby and have some day time sex! :)

Oh I wanted to add a quick note. It was brought to my attention that some women do not like having sex on their period and I totally get that. I just let it completely slip my mind because I am breastfeeding right now. It's been over a year since my last period so I haven't thought about it at all. So here is my solution to the days when you're on your cycle:
Just play!
If your husband is anything like a normal man... he enjoys oral sex. If that's not something you're into, play with hands. Create a scenario where you're dating and it's forbidden to have sex so do everything else ;) We've all had to do this at some point. Make it enjoyable.

If you have any questions, please leave a comment below. I'm sure you're not the only one with that question. Or if you would rather, send me and email. I have it listed and I'll make it a total private and anonymous message.

Have fun today!